Moms Unite!

(By Stacy)

Like many, I love Facebook.  I love to stay in touch with friends from whom I have moved. I love to watch my friends’ kids and their accomplishments and even learn of deaths of people who have traveled through my life. Sometimes though, I’ll see something disturbing, and I did this weekend on a blog post through a Facebook page. The post indicated that stay-at-home moms do not work as hard and do not accomplish as much as working moms. This is a hot button topic for me. I was a full time working mother when I had my son. I had a great job that I loved at a university. It was fun, I had a great boss, the daycare was quality, and overall the picture was rosy. 

Each morning about 7:30am I handed my little bundle of joy over the counter in his carrier to a lady in her 60’s named Lucille.  I felt confident that he was in good care, and he was. Our family maintained this routine for four years. I loved working, I am a tad workaholic by nature, and Paden was happy, healthy, and thriving. We had a strong support system of friends who would step in if I or my husband were running late. We had a nice selection of babysitters who attended our church, and overall, I could schedule my weeks like a well oiled machine.

Then, we relocated to Lubbock. The support system went away, and I worked full time for a year. Then we made the decision for me to stay home or work part time to be more flexible for our family. Lots of reasons went into this decision. We were older when we had Paden. He is our only child, and I wanted some playtime with my boy. My husband travels a lot with his job, and it just wasn’t practical for me to also have a demanding position anymore. I have not looked back. I am blessed to have a skill which allows me to work from home. I am able to pick up Paden (now 8) from school, be with him during school breaks; and be flexible for family needs. Life is rosy; it always has been.

So, what incensed me so about the blog comments I saw over the weekend?  What was insinuated is that a stay-at-home mom’s life is not “worth” what a working mom’s is, and her value is lower. That’s just ridiculous – on both sides. There is value in life regardless of what you do for a career.

The deeper question to me is when did our lives become valuable based upon where we work each day?  Isn’t our value derived from whom God made us to be and the way that we share those gifts (whether we are paid to do it or not)?  I know many wonderful women who never worked outside the home and have provided strength and volunteer hours which could have never been provided to organizations by paid staff.  I know working moms who are awesome moms who can do the balance of great career and great household and kids. Their kids do not suffer, and they love them.  I struggled a lot with my decision to “put my career on hold” for a bit. I prayed much about this decision, that it was what God intended me to do, and time after time I have been reassured it was the right one. I think what I would like is for this back and forth argument of working vs. staying home not to be seen as an “either or,” but to be seen as are we doing with our lives what God has intended?  They are each different, and His plans are different for each of us. Let us lift each other up, regardless of working or non-working, and pray that we use our lives and our gifts to glorify God and His plans for us and our families.